I Belong To You
by WhereWouldIBe
Summary: AH - They were best friends for years. Bella fell in love with Edward and when she finally decides to tell him how she feels, it's too late and he is to marry someone else. BPOV
1. Prologue

I do not own Twilight.

Huge thanks to Project Team Beta !

I have many stories swimming around in my head. I plan to complete this story as soon as possible so I could move on to the others. I've tried writing more than one story at a time and it just doesn't work out. Please review and give me your honest opinions! I'm also on twilighted.

Prologue

I wanted him more than anything on earth. I needed him more than I needed my bed, more than the water to sustain me and the air to breathe. My body, my mind, my heart, my _all_ belonged to him. I would have given him my everything for his anything - or just a few intimate moments alone with him.

We had been best friends for years and then everything changed. It wasn't easy anymore. We were no longer "Bella _and_ Edward" Before I knew it, it was _just __Bella_, and Edward when he needed my help with something.

He came to me often. Advice and to lend a helping hand was what I was good for. He called and I answered. He wanted to see me, and I made myself available, no matter the time of day. He looked for me and I was there. It didn't matter if I had plans or if I was ill. It didn't matter if my heart broke every time he was near. Anything and everything he wanted, I gave freely.

He had power over me - power to destroy or make me new. He didn't seem to notice, and if he did, he didn't care.

I'd had the chance to run away and leave the city, to leave everyone and everything behind, but I didn't. I wouldn't have been able to even if I'd tried. Standing by his side did nothing but destroy me.

I had two choices: either leave, empty and without any possibility of seeing him again," or stay and witness the love of my life loving someone else.

Edward couldn't make me happy in the way I needed, so I settled with anything he was willing to give. Betrayal, indifference and pain like I had never felt before was what I received.

At one point in my life, he was everything good in my world; he wasn't always the reason for my heartache. _My _Edward was sweet, gentle, funny, caring, a family man, the most adorable momma's boy, and yet so manly at the same time. _My_ Edward was different. _My_ Edward was there when someone needed him.

The Edward who had another woman by his side was a different man. A man I wasn't sure I knew any longer – a man that no one recognized anymore.

Part of me wanted to leave, but I stayed even though it destroyed me on the inside. I preferred the pain to nothing at all. The pain and the tears reminded me that at one point he'd been there, that what we had was once true, even if for a limited time. Leaving would have only made my memories fade, and I couldn't allow that. I preferred to look at him and long for _my_ Edward than to leave and risk not being able to remember every perfect detail of his face.

Instead of running from my heartache, I walked towards it and let it consume me time and time again. I was the masochistic lamb, innocent and gentle. He was the ignorant and strong lion - my complete opposite.

Knowing he would hurt me if I got too close, knowing he could pounce on me and tear me up at any moment, I went to him. I was completely vulnerable to him, but I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. At least, I couldn't have him in any other way, so I settled for what he gave.

_When you love the one who is killing you, what is there left to do but stay and let them have you as they wish?_

He wasn't mine. Edward belonged to another, but I belonged to him whether he wanted me or not. My skin craved for his touch - my heart called for him. Every fiber of my being was his. There was no use in trying to stay away. At the end of it all, _I belonged to him_.

Authors Note: I understand Edward sounds like a complete jerk, but as the story goes on you will see that he really is a sweetheart who made a wrong choice.


	2. My Dad and my Prince

Authors Note: I'm hoping to complete this story as soon as possible. In order for me to do this I will be posting shorter chapters. I've been busy with school, work, family etc.

This chapter introduces a little bit of Bella's relationship with Edward and Charlie. In future chapters Bella **might** have flashbacks or will be describing her past in more detail.

Here they are much younger. The dialogue shows it, the narrating not so much.

I am in need of Betas – if you are willing please let me know.

Renee is Puerto Rican. Papi or Pa = Daddy or Dad. Mami or Ma = Mommy or Mom

Chapter One – My Dad and my Prince

**BPOV – September, 1994 **

It was early morning on a Tuesday; Papi was driving me to my first day of school. I was nervous about being around all the other kids for a whole day. Last year in Kindergarten I only went for a half a day.

"Will you stay with me in school today? Um, just until I feel okay with the other kids?" I anxiously looked out the window.

"If I could I would, sweetheart, but I need to be at the station early this morning." My dad was a police officer in the small town of Forks, Washington. He was always busy at work. Mom said it was so I could have anything I needed and wanted, but what I wanted was to spend more time with my father.

"Papiii," I whined. "I'm scared. I don't know all the kids that'll be there. What if I don't make any friends? "

"Everything will be okay, you'll see. You're great, kid. Anyone would be lucky to have you as a friend. Just be yourself and everything will work out. I understand you're nervous, but after today things will get better."

"Okay," I sighed. Mom would've stayed with me. She was a stay at home mom. She would have had time to bring me, but I wanted to spend alone time with my dad. Even if it was just a ten-minute drive, every moment with him meant a lot to me.

A few minutes later, I was hugging him goodbye outside of my classroom. "Bye! See you after school?" I asked, hoping he'd be the one picking me up instead of mom.

"Yes, baby girl. I'll see you after school so you can tell me about your day in first grade. I'll pick you up in class. There's your teacher, Mrs. Burgos. She's a nice woman. If you have any problems let her know." He kissed my cheeks and I ran off in the direction of my new teacher.

"Hi." I smiled at the woman sitting at the front desk.

After her asking me for my name and writing something in her book, she looked up at me. I automatically felt comfortable when she smiled. "Hello Bella. If you like, you can spend some time with the children in the play area over there." She pointed towards the back of the room. "You're still a little early. The bell will ring in ten minutes to announce the beginning of class."

I nodded and made my way to the back of the room, getting more nervous with each passing step.

There were six other children playing and talking. Everyone looked like they were best friends or something, and I didn't want to interrupt.

I noticed Jessica from kindergarten, but she was whispering with two other girls. We never spoke much in kindergarten so I didn't go up to them.

I felt out of place. I was about to sit at a desk and wait for class to begin when I saw a boy looking at some books in the corner.

He was alone and I didn't have anywhere else to go, so I decided to sit near him on the rug.

"Hi," I said, looking down at the book in his hand.

He looked in my direction. "Hello, I...uh... my name is Edward."

"I'm Bella. I don't want to bother you. I just… I don't have many friends and you were alone so I wanted to…uh… just say 'hi,' so…hi," I said timidly as I looked up to his face.

"Hi," he chuckled. "I don't have any friends either. I just moved here a week ago."

"Cool. I've lived here my whole life, and still don't have many friends."

"It's okay. I'll be your friend, Bella." He smiled and that's when I realized I needed to make him my husband. I had seen on the Disney channel that two people fall in love instantly once the lady meets her Prince Charming. At that moment, I was sure that Edward was my prince and he would save me from harm.

And he did just that. For the next three years he was my best friend who never left my side unless absolutely necessary, my protector when bullies tried to pick on me, my homework buddy, and most importantly, the only one I trusted with my family problems.

Whenever I was sad, he knew how to make me happy again. We spent many days sitting in his kitchen eating ice cream while coloring in one of his many coloring books.

**Authors End Note:** My son is in first grade and from what I know of he isn't thinking about marriage and all of that. He better not! Haha But I remember when I was in kindergarten I already had a crush on a boy. Crazy enough, he had green eyes.

I hope you enjoyed. Review?


	3. Goodbye

The good stuff is coming in a few chapters! I have to get the introduction on these two out first.

Chapter Two – Goodbye

**BPOV– June, 1998 **

It was a Sunday night and my last week in the fourth grade was approaching. I walked out of my bedroom and toward the stairs to say good night to my parents. As I reached the stairs, I heard yelling.

My mom looked like she had been crying, her eyes red and her face tear stained. My dad tried to comfort her, but she quickly shook him off. I saw her turn to him with a hateful look in her eye. "I'm done, Charlie. I don't love you. I can't stay with you knowing you haven't been able to make me happy in years," my mom yelled.

He began to respond to her when she cut him off, her voice getting louder. "It's over. I'm leaving to Phoenix and taking Bella with me. "

She's taking me away? I didn't want to go. I liked how everything was.

"NO!" I yelled from the top of the stairs. They hadn't noticed that I had listened to part of their argument. "You can't do this to me, Mami!" I ran down the stairs and hugged my dad.

"I won't let you. I can't leave Papi. You don't love him, but I do!" I yelled, tears falling down my cheeks.

I looked up to see my father's face, tears pooling in his eyes, "Papi, please. Please don't let her take me away from you. I don't want to leave you; I love you. Please Papi, please…" I begged as my crying became too much. It was hard to see and breathing became harder with each passing moment.

"Baby, you don't understand. Don't you want to be with mommy?" My mom tried to get me away from my dad so she could give me a hug. The gesture infuriated me more. I didn't want to be anywhere near her.

"No. Get away from me!" I shrugged her off and got closer to my dad. "If you make me leave you won't be my mom anymore. If you love me you won't take me away!" I got louder with every word. "You. Can't. Make. Me. Leave. _Ever_."

"Sweetheart," my dad said, tears falling past his cheeks and reaching his chin. "I love you. You will always be my little girl. Your mom isn't happy. She doesn't want to stay, and I don't want you growing up thinking that it's okay living unhappily. I can't force her to stay, and even if I could, I don't want you thinking it's all right. You'll understand when you get older."

He hugged me tight to his chest, "I love you so much, Bella." His voice broke with emotion. "I love you more than anything, but if your mom leaves I can't take care of you by myself. I work different shifts in the station and you're too young to stay home alone, especially at night."

"Don't you want me, Dad? You want me to leave?" I knew he worked and I couldn't be alone, but couldn't he do something? Was there another way? There had to be.

"Please don't ever think I don't love you. Don't ever doubt my love for you. I just can't right now, sweetheart. I can't leave you alone. It'll be impossible for me to change my hours at the station."

He looked up to see my mom leaning against the wall on the opposite side of the room. He then looked me in the eyes and gave me a small smile. "Your mom is going with some of her family. She can provide you with a home." He held me closer in a tight hug. I could hardly breathe with my crying and his strong hold, but I didn't want him to let me go.

"Will I ever see you again?"

He moved his head from the top of mine and whispered quietly so my mom couldn't hear, "Listen to me Bella, everything will work out. We'll be together again. I'll get you back as soon as I can, if that's what you want."

"I'll be waiting for you. If I had to choose, I'd choose you, Pa. I'll always be your little girl." We hugged and cried for a few minutes. After a while, he told me to shower and get ready for bed.

My mother tried to talk to me once I was dressed for bed but I told her I didn't want to speak to her again. I slept in my father's bed that night while she slept in the living room.

The next morning I woke up dreading going to school. I wanted to spend as much time with my father before I had to leave a week later.

I walked down the stairs and into the kitchen where he was eating some cereal.

"Hey, Baby girl," he waved me over and stood up to give me a hug.

"Good morning." I gave him a kiss in the cheek. "Pa, when does Mami want to leave?"

"Darling, she wants to leave on Saturday. Friday is your last day of school and she doesn't want you missing any days."

"NO!" _Oh no, Edward._ I hadn't even thought about him yesterday because I was so worried about losing my dad.

"What about Edward? I won't have my best friend anymore. We were supposed to go to the park on Saturday with his family." Tears started falling again, my head hurting from all the crying I had done the night before.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He grabbed my face and looked into my eyes. "I'll talk to your mother and see if you girls can leave on Sunday instead. You deserve a whole day with your best friend."

I nodded, and he wiped the tears from my face. He promised to try to switch his night shifts to days for the week so he could spend time with me after school.

"Thank you, Papi. I can't wait for us to spend time together, just you and me before…" I didn't finish. I didn't even want to think about leaving.

He nodded with understanding. "Of course, just us. I love you."

"I love you too."

We sat down and ate our breakfast, sad smiles on both of our faces.

I knew life wouldn't be the same and it was all because of _her_. My mother. That's when I decided I'd call her by her real name. _Renee._ She didn't deserve my respect anymore. She didn't care that she was taking me away from my father and my prince, so I wouldn't treat her the same.

The next week I went to school, never mentioning to anyone that I was leaving soon. Every day after school my dad picked me up and we spent a few hours together until it was dinner time. We never mentioned the day I would be leaving. We just enjoyed each other's company.

I waited until I went to the Cullen's house to tell Edward I was leaving. I couldn't handle telling him in school with so many people around. I needed to be able to speak with him without interruptions.

The saddest day in my life was the day my mother took me from my Dad and Forks, from the only home I had ever known. But that Saturday that I spent with Edward and his family came in a close second.

Once my father explained the situation to Esme and Carlisle, Edward's parents, they decided to let us choose if we wanted to do as planned or if we wanted to do something else. Edward said he didn't want to share me with his family so we decided to spend the day together in his backyard.

His brother Emmett and sister Alice weren't happy about me not joining them at the park, but they understood that Edward and I needed to spend time alone before I had to leave.

Alice was Edward's twin. She came up to me first and gave me a tight hug. "Oh Bella, I can't believe you're leaving." She pulled away and looked me in the eyes, a pout forming on her lips.

"I'll be back one day, Alice. We'll hang out then. I really wish I could go with you guys, but I _need _to spend time with Edward now. You understand, don't you?" Alice was the only one I ever told about Edward being my prince. I told her how cute I thought he was and how one day we would get married. She agreed that we would be good together. I knew she would understand. She was my best friend after Edward; I was going to miss her so much.

"Bella, I do understand. I'll see you when you come back." She hugged me again.

"Hey, hey, I need to give Bella a hug too!" Emmett yelled from behind Alice. He was Edward and Alice's older brother. He was just a year older than the three of us, but he acted as if we were babies compared to him.

Alice pulled away from our hug and rolled her eyes. Emmett came up to me and gave me a strong bear hug. "I'm going to miss you, little girl. You're not leaving forever, are you?"

"Can't breathe," I said, while tapping his back. He chuckled and let me go.

"Never, Emmett. You know I can't stay away for too long." I turned my head in Edward's direction as I spoke and he smiled when he noticed me looking at him.

"Yeah." He looked in Edward's direction. "You better come back," he whispered, "for your _prince_." He looked into my eyes and winked.

I stood there frozen. I mean, how did he know? _Alice_. I looked over at Alice and glared.

Emmett laughed and whispered, "calm down, Shorty. I heard you and Alice talking when you slept over a few weeks ago. Your secrets are safe with me."

I'd known Emmett ever since I'd met Edward. He was loud but definitely loyal to the people he cared for. I knew I could trust him not to tell Edward or anyone else.

I nodded and didn't say anything else. I was still shocked about anyone but Alice knowing my secret.

We hugged one more time and they left with their dad to go to the park. Esme stayed home to keep an eye on us and make us snacks.

Esme always had fresh cookies ready when I came to visit. I knew it was one more of the things I would miss once I was gone.

"Bella, I can't believe you're leaving." Edward said looking at me as we lay on the grass on his backyard. We had been lying on our backs, looking at each other for the past hour, just talking.

"Edward, I don't want to leave. I'm scared. You can't tell anyone, but daddy told me that he would get me back as soon as he can. I hope it doesn't take too long. I'm going to miss you. You're my best friend."

He got closer and brought his right arm out for me to rest my head on. I got closer and snuggled on his side. "Bella, you're my best friend too. I mean, we're... we're Bella and Edward. We're supposed to be together forever. I will never forget you and when you come back, it'll be like nothing ever changed." He smiled and kissed my cheek.

"You're right, we're meant to be together." My stomach felt weird and I didn't know why. As I got older I realized what I was feeling were 'butterflies.'

"Bella, I know we're friends but if your dad can't get you back, I will take a plane to Phoenix on my eighteenth birthday and steal you away. No one will take you from me forever." He said in a determined voice and I couldn't help but smile widely at him.

"Thank you, Edward. I love you."

"I love you too, Bella." He kissed me softly on my forehead, "Friends?"

"Always."

"Always and forever," he said.

"Always and forever," I responded.

That evening, Edward came with Esme to drop me off at home. Esme went in to speak with my dad and Renee while Edward and I stayed outside on the steps.

"Edward, if you ever move, give my dad your address. I need to know where you live when I come back."

"I promise, Bella. Don't worry. We're meant to be, remember?" He smiled and nudged me on my shoulder.

"You're right." I grabbed his hand and intertwined our fingers, needing the last few minutes of us being together to be near him.

We both stared at our intertwined hands and after a few minutes of silence I had to tell him what was on my mind. "Edward, I need to tell you something but please don't laugh at me or think anything bad of me."

He looked up and said, "Bella, come on. You know you can tell me anything. I will never think of you in a bad way. Promise." He squeezed my hand reassuringly. "Tell me."

"Well, Edward, I don't know where to start," I looked away from his deep green eyes and felt my cheeks get warm with the thought of what I was going to say. "I've been thinking about this for a few months but I thought I had more time. I was going to wait until later but now…"

"Bella, look at me." His face was serious but concerned. "Please don't scare me. Is anything wrong?"

"No, no, um…. Some of the popular kids in school are talking about…some things, and I always wondered if my first time would be yucky. Edward, I want my first kiss…." I looked down at our hands still intertwined. "I want my first kiss to be with someone I trust and love. Kids in school talk about it all the time. I've never been kissed. I don't know how long I'll be gone. I can't think of a better person than you to share my first kiss with."

I looked up to see his reaction. Edward was looking at me with his lips slightly parted. His eyes moved back and forth between my eyes and my lips. "Um, Edward? Forget it. You don't have to if you don't want to. I just thought, I just... I uh—"

"No," he cut me off from my rambling, "I want to. I want to be your first kiss and you to be mine. I haven't kissed anyone, either. I'm nervous about it but I can't think of a better girl to share it with other than my best friend?"

I laughed at the way he was always able to calm my nerves. My _prince_, always knowing what to say.

"So, how do we do this? You want to do it here? I mean… I don't mind, but one of our parents could walk out that door." He said while pointing to my front door, right behind us.

"True. Hmmm," I tapped my fingers on my chin as I thought. "Let's go to the side of the house, near the garage."

"How romantic."

"Fine. Where do you think is best?"

"Hmmm… let's go up to your room. We'll tell your parents that you're giving me some picture of you, which is true, because I need some."

"We've taken hundreds of pictures! I think every picture I have of us you have too. Your mom goes crazy with that camera." I shook my head, thinking of the many times Esme had snuck up on us to take a snapshot.

"That's true," he chuckled. "But I want one of you alone, one that I don't have."

"Fine, let's go." We stood and I hesitated in letting go of his hand. I knew our parents wouldn't say anything, as we always held hands or hugged. It wasn't anything new for us to be close, but what we were getting ready to do was new for both of us, so I let go of his hand as we walked towards the door.

We passed our parents and walked up the stairs to my room. Edward closed the door behind him and we walked over to my bed. We had been alone in my room many times before, but this time was different. I felt my heart beating in my chest.

"Okay, so…" He trailed off, lifted his right hand to brush my hair off my face, and tucked it behind my ear. He leaned in and stopped within two inches from my face. We stared into each other's eyes for a few moments.

"Edward…" I whispered as I closed my eyes. I leaned in and felt his lips against mine.

We sat there with our lips pressed against each other for a few moments before he started moving his lips against mine. I wasn't sure what I was doing but I didn't want it to end. We kissed for a few seconds, moving our lips against the other, neither of us really knowing what to do.

He placed both hands on either side of my face and I brought one hand to grab on to his shirt and the other to lay on his knee.

He pulled away an inch and we gave each other a few light kisses on the lips.

"Best first kiss _ever_," Edward whispered with a big smile.

"Best first kiss _ever_," I whispered back. _Because it was with you, _I said silently in my head.

We sat on the bed, holding hands, both lost in thought when Esme called for Edward from down the stairs. I walked over to my photo albums and Edward followed.

"Take whatever picture you want."

"I want this one… this one," he flipped the pages, "and this one, oh yeah, definitely this one too."

"Edward," I laughed. "Come on, you can't just chose one?"

"I can't just choose one, Bella. Come on."

"Fine, take them all." _Anything for you_.

He grabbed his pictures and we walked down the stairs.

Esme hugged me close to her. "I love you like a daughter, Bella. I'll keep in touch with your dad to see how you're doing."

"And I love you like a mom." When we pulled away from each other, I noticed tears in her eyes.

"Esme, can I tell you a secret?"

"Sure, Dear." She leaned down so I could whisper in her ear.

"Edward and I are meant to be together. Don't cry. We'll see each other again one day. Maybe we'll even get married like the men and women on TV. Like you and Carlisle."

She chuckled softly and gave me another hug and kiss on the cheek. "Of course honey, of course. I have no doubt about that. We'll see each other again."

She began walking to the door and Edward came up to me. "I'm going to miss you so much." He hugged me tight.

"I love you, Edward. I'll miss you too." I lowered my voice and whispered in his ear, "Eighteenth birthday remember?"

"Of course. We'll be together one day." He hugged me tighter and kissed me on my cheek before pulling away to leave.

"Always."

**Authors Note:** How old were you when you had your first kiss?

I was 13, so I had a hard time imagining nine year olds. I know some do kiss or do more. I heard about it when I was that age and sadly, children nowadays do worse.


	4. Starting Over

**Thanks a ton to Dani **_(bonnysammy),_** and Dee! They are the BEST!**

Thank you so very much for all the reviews! They motivate me and I LOVE love LOVE them!

Abuela = grandmother

Siempre = always or forever

This chapter is longer than most. Just trying to move along to the good stuff.

Chapter Three – Starting Over

Once Esme and Edward left the house, I gave my dad a hug and excused myself to my bedroom. My bed was the first thing I saw once I walked in and locked the door behind me. This is the same bed where Edward and I had shared our first kiss, just minutes before. I reached up and gently touched my lips with my fingertips, and closed my eyes as I tried to hold back the tears. It was painful not knowing when or if I'd ever be back.

I walked over to my dresser, picked up one of my many photo albums and went to lie in bed. There were a few pictures of Renee, Dad, and me, but most were of times I spent with the Cullens or of Dad with his best friend, Billy Black.

The ones of my dad, I looked at with sadness. I didn't want to leave him. Memories of wanting to spend time with him and not being able to, flooded my mind, and I began feeling worse. His work had always kept him busy. Then, I thought of the past week. He had changed his schedule around so we could spend more time together. Usually, it would have been almost impossible to change, but he told his boss our situation and he understood.

Dad picked me up every day after school and we didn't go home until dinner time. We had so much fun; it only added to my feelings of not wanting to leave. I knew I was going to miss him dearly, but I also knew we would be together one day. He was my father, after all, my own flesh and blood. Family always found a way to be together, somehow.

The pictures taken with Edward's family made me smile or laugh. My life was full of fun and craziness when they were around. I changed so much after I met them. I was no longer the shy, awkward girl I once was. I was confident and talkative. Of course, I never spent much time away from Edward or any of his siblings, but I still spoke to many people I probably would have never spoken to if it wasn't for them. I had also stopped worrying about what people thought of me. My life was good and I wasn't letting anything stop me.

I was able to see the difference in myself as I flipped through the pages. When I was younger I was always shying away from the camera; most pictures were of me hiding behind someone or covering part of my face with my hand. As time passed I was smiling, sometimes even laughing while looking straight at the camera. I was no longer shying away. I liked who I had become and I didn't know how I would be once I moved away from the people who helped me be who I was.

When I was younger there were many people trying to bully me around. They would pick on me because of the way I dressed or make fun of the way I avoided making eye contact with anyone by looking at the floor while walking. But Edward was always there to defend me and make me feel better. He always assured me that people were just jealous since I was such a great person, and with time I started believing him. After a while, I didn't care anymore about what people said or thought and I began feeling comfortable with myself.

I continued looking through the pages and stopped at a picture taken just two weeks earlier. Carlisle had just purchased a new grill and was excited to try it out. He and Esme invited me over to hang out and eat dinner. Emmett, Alice, Edward, and I decided to sit by the pool. I changed into one of Edward's shirts and shorts so I could sit at the edge of the pool without worrying about wetting my clothes. Alice would have preferred me to wear something 'cuter', but her clothes were much too small for me.

I never joined them in the pool, I was always too afraid I would drown since I didn't know how to swim. That never stopped them from trying to convince me.

That day Emmett was the first to ask, "Dude, come on. Get in. Eddie here won't let you drown." Emmett had learned to swim at an early age and he never showed any sign of being afraid of anything. Of course he would never understand my fear of drowning.

"No. I won't step foot in that pool, especially not with you around. At least, not until I learn how to swim. Last time I did you almost made me drown!" I glared at him remembering the last time I was in that pool. I was standing at the edge looking at the water, trying to decide whether to get in or not, when Emmett suddenly grabbed me and threw me in the water. If it wasn't for Edward helping me stand and keep my balance in the water, I don't know what would've happened. I couldn't even stand upright once my feet left the floor.

"Chill, Bells. I won't throw you in again. Come on." He continued trying to convince me until Alice yelled at him.

"Em, just leave her alone, you big monkey. She doesn't want to get in, so let it go. We're relaxing and soaking our feet. You're the only one that _wants_ to get in the water, go ahead then." She leaned back on her hands, closed her eyes and let her head fall back so she could enjoy the sun. Unexpectedly, Emmett grabbed her by the waist and slipped himself in the water, Alice's small body following behind.

Alice shot up from the water, splashing Edward and me as she recovered from being thrown in the water. She gasped for air, looked at Emmett, and it was quiet for a few moments. Everyone knew not to mess with Alice- she was a sweetheart, but, if she wanted to, she would put you in check _quick_. Edward was just about to open his mouth to say something when Alice suddenly started laughing. Emmett looked relieved to know she wasn't mad and went to grab her. We all laughed and continued talking and playing around. They splashed me even though I refused to get in and I splashed them the best I could while not falling in the pool. We didn't know Esme was standing close by taking pictures until later that night when she uploaded them to her computer. She was always taking random pictures of us.

Of course, I had to ask Esme for a copy of one of the pictures. We were so happy and carefree. Emmett had a goofy smile on his face while trying to mess up Alice's hair as she laughed and tried splashing him. Edward and I were sitting at the edge of the pool, me holding on to him by his shirt, trying not to fall in, him with his arm around me as he looked at me with his crooked smile in place.

It was my favorite picture of us four.

I laid in bed staring at it. Staring at my friends who I didn't know if I would ever see again, and I cried. I cried until I was no longer able to keep my eyes open and fell asleep.

I woke up the next morning with puffy eyes and my photo album opened on my bed. I cleaned up my things and finished packing. After I showered and got dressed, I went down stairs and found dad cooking breakfast, something he never did. When he noticed me walking in, he smiled and waved me over. We sat quietly and ate our breakfast.

When Renee was finished getting ready to leave, she walked in and found us hugging quietly; we knew we didn't have much time to be alone. Before Renee was able to say anything, the phone rang and she walked over to the living room to answer it.

She came back a few minutes later and announced that Edward and Esme were coming over to drive with us to the airport.

An hour later, Esme picked us up at home and drove us to the airport in her SUV. We had originally planned on going in the police cruiser, but it would've been too uncomfortable for five people, so she offered to drive. Dad was in the passenger's seat, Renee behind Esme in the backseat, and Edward and me in the third row. No one said a word on the drive over there.

Edward had his left arm resting on his lap as he held my left hand on top of his, our fingers intertwined the whole time. His back was against the door, body facing me as he watched me look down on our hands. After some time, I rested my back against his chest and placed my head on his shoulder. I couldn't look him in the face. I was too afraid I would start crying again, but having him near me comforted me. I looked out the window, watching Forks and the familiar places that I was leaving behind. Every once in a while I would squeeze Edward's hand and he squeezed back, somehow assuring me everything would be okay without having to say a word.

When we got to the airport, Esme pulled me in to a warm hug and kissed my forehead. "You're like a daughter to me, Bella, and I love you the same. Have fun and be good for Renee."

I nodded and said, "I love you so much."

Next was my dad, I didn't know what else to say. He hugged me and cupped my face in his huge hands. "I love you. Be happy, baby girl. You'll be back in Forks soon, I'm sure of it." He gave me a kiss on my cheek and stepped back to stand near Esme.

Edward came up to me slowly. He gave me a sad smile and nudged my shoulder trying to cheer me up and it worked, I smiled back. I held my hand out for him to hold, and he pulled me in for a hug. After a few moments he whispered, "We're meant to be. Cheer up already. I'll see you soon."

I nodded and smiled without a word. Renee said a quick goodbye to them, and we turned to leave.

The first two months of living in Phoenix, Arizona, were depressing. Renee and I moved in with my Grandma Marie. She was a shorter, chubbier, older version of Renee. Her hair was grayed, instead of Renee's dark brown, her eyes were a light brown, skin slightly tanned, her Puerto Rican accent clear, very much unlike her daughters. She was clearly Hispanic and proud, and although I was half Puerto Rican and half Italian, I felt more white than anything around her. I didn't know much Spanish since Renee always spoke English, and everything was just different.

It was awkward at first. I hadn't met Grandma Marie before and although I would have loved to get to know her on any other occasion; I tried to avoid her as often as possible. Seeing as I had no choice but to live in Phoenix, I didn't find it necessary to try to get to know anyone.

We arrived at Phoenix on the last week of June. Classes wouldn't start for me until September, so I spent my summer either in the porch looking at the people and cars pass by or locked in my bedroom reading. I wasn't the same girl I was when living in Forks. I didn't laugh and joke around like before. The boy I was able to be myself with was back at home. My books were my escape from the memories of happier times.

The times I spoke with Edward and my dad were the closest I got to being my normal self. They called every day for the first few weeks. It was nice to know they thought of me. Dad would call me to tell me he loved me and wish me a good night. Esme would call after having Edward promise to stop begging her to use the phone. I smiled every time we talked. He would tell me little things he and his family had planned for the summer and how everyone was doing. I told him I was doing okay, although it was a complete lie. I just didn't want him to think I was that pathetic not to be having fun in a sunny city. It went on like this for about a month.

Sometime in August, things started getting easier between Grandma Marie and me. It was easier to speak to her when Renee wasn't around the house. I was getting along with Renee more but only spoke with her when necessary. Every time she would leave the house, I would come out of my room and Grandma was always around to keep me company.

Renee started spending more time out of the house. She busied herself looking for jobs throughout the day and going on dates in the evenings. I didn't know how she met so many guys to go on dates with, but that only fueled my displeasure with her actions more. I couldn't understand why she would want to leave such a great man like my dad only to date men who she never saw more than once. Or, at least, I never saw the same man come pick her up more than once. I never cared to ask her about her 'love' life.

One Saturday night I wasn't feeling well and I asked Grandma Marie to call my dad. It was just us in the living room, her watching TV and me reading a book. Renee was out on a date and told us not to wait up. I hadn't been feeling well all day, I had a headache, my stomach was bothering me, and to top it off, I felt like crap because I hadn't gotten a call from anyone in Forks and it was nearly ten at night. I knew because of the time difference that it was earlier for him, but he always made sure to call me before I went to bed.

Grandma called dad for me, he didn't pick up the house number so she tried his cell phone and handed it to me.

"Hello. Bella?" I heard my dad's voice and smiled, I missed him so much. He sounded happy, and I heard people laughing in the background.

"Hi, Papi. Are you busy?"

"I'm just hanging out at Carlisle and Esme's place, but I always have time for my favorite girl."

"You're at Edward's house? Why?" For the few years I had known the Cullens, my dad never spent time with them for longer than an hour or so, and that was usually on holidays.

"Well, I ran into Carlisle the other day in the grocery store. We got to talking and since we've known each other for a while, but never got to know each other, he invited me over for a cookout. Everyone here is just cleaning up to go in the house."

"Oh. Sounds like fun." I couldn't keep the sadness from my voice. I loved spending time with the Cullens and I knew they were all having fun without me.

He must have noticed my mood change although he avoided the fact that he was there and I wasn't. Instead, he tried switching the subject. "We all miss you so much. How was your day?"

"I miss everyone a lot, too. So much. My day has been…fine. It's getting late and I was wondering why you hadn't called. You always call to say goodnight."

"I know. I'm sorry I didn't call sooner. I love you."

"It's okay. I love you, too. Um... dad? Is Edward there?" Of course, I knew he would be there. Where else would he be? I just wanted to know how he was.

"Yeah, he's around here somewhere running around. He's a good kid. Really funny, he was chasing Alice around and everyone was throwing each other in the pool." He laughed at the memory and I couldn't help but feel jealous and, of course, left out.

"Okay. Well, tell everyone I said 'bye.' I'll let you get back to them. Good night."

"I'll call you tomorrow. Love you. Good night."

Once we hung up, I kissed Grandma good night, and went upstairs to get ready for bed. I laid in bed and felt tears fall down my cheeks. I felt more homesick than usual. I hadn't received any calls and I only spoke with my father because I called him. What bothered me wasn't that I didn't get a call, but the feeling that they were moving on without me. I didn't want anyone to forget me.

The next few weeks before school passed by slowly. I spent a lot of time with my grandmother, or Abuela as she preferred to be called, in her garden and sat in the kitchen with her as she cooked. I was starting to care for her a lot; she was easy to talk with. Renee continued to be out of the house but still hadn't found a job. My dad still called me daily. He didn't give many details, he was never good with long conversations on the phone, but I did find out that he was spending a lot of time with Carlisle; they were becoming really good friends. Edward called me every other day at first and then slowly started calling me once a week. I couldn't blame him, it was summer and he spent a lot of time with his family outdoors when possible. Every phone call became shorter and shorter. It bothered me not talking to him as much as I used to. I never mentioned anything though, I knew it was just a matter of time until he forgot me completely.

**End Note:** What do you think?


	5. Phoenix

**Thanks a ton to Dani **_(bonnysammy),_** and Dee! They are the BEST!**

Thank you so very much for all the reviews! They motivate me and I LOVE love LOVE them!

Abuela = grandmother

Siempre = always or forever

This chapter is longer than usual, just trying to move along to the good stuff.

Chapter Four - Phoenix

September came along, and I began the fifth grade. It was awkward at first, being the shy, new girl, but I made a friend the first day of school. Shortly after, she introduced me to her friends and their friends introduced me to more people. I always had someone to hang out with. I didn't have many close friends, but I was hardly ever by myself.

Sixth grade passed by in a blur. I just wanted to get it done with so I could move on to the next school; the local middle school began in seventh grade. Dad was calling me every other day; he was busy at work. He would still mention us being together one day. He still couldn't switch his hours at work; there weren't enough police officers for everyone to get a permanent shift. The times that he worked nights he wasn't able to call, when he would come home from work I was already in school. Edward called me occasionally, but not often. I started talking with Alice a little bit on the phone as well, but it wasn't the same. I wondered why Edward wasn't talking to me like before, but I never asked.

When I reached middle school, it was both good and bad. At first, I felt left out. All my female friends were getting attention from boys. It seemed like everyone was talking about kissing and some even about sex. All I wanted was for a cute friend to hold my hand, but no one ever noticed me like that. I was just 'one of the guys.'

A few months in to the seventh grade, a new girl transferred into school. I was sitting alone in lunch, waiting for my friends. Knowing how it is to be the new kid in a big city, I smiled and waved her over.

"Hi. I'm Cassandra. I'm new here," she said shyly. She reminded me of myself when I first moved to Phoenix.

"Yeah, I know. I'm Bella. I just moved here a bit over two years ago. You can sit with my friends and me if you want."

She agreed, I introduced her to my friends and after that we became inseparable. Once I got to know her, I realized she wasn't the shy girl I thought she was.

We were complete opposites; maybe that's why we were so good together. Where I was quiet, she was loud. I preferred reading when she preferred to watch the movie. She smoked, drank, partied, had sex, and I simply didn't.

Every weekend she would ask me to hang out with her and each time I declined. Renee wasn't around often and I didn't want to leave Grandma Marie alone to be with Cassandra and her friends. Grandma was like a mother to me. I actually considered her my mother. She was the one who cooked, cleaned, gave me advice, helped me with my homework, and took care of me when I wasn't feeling good. She did everything for me that Renee didn't.

The summer of seventh grade Grandma told me I was old enough to spend some time with my friends if I wanted to as long as it was okay with the parents. She had met Cassandra many times and thought she was a good kid. She obviously didn't know about the drinking or the boys, though.

That summer, I started hanging out more. I still spoke with dad every few days and with Edward probably twice a month. He mentioned having a cell phone and I told him grandma had gotten me one, too, but he never asked for my number, so I never gave it to him. Sometimes he would call me when I wasn't home and when I would call him when I got back, he wouldn't be home either. Alice and I kept in touch speaking once or twice a week. We became even closer than we were when I was in Forks. We texted often and spoke about going on a road trip one day once we turned eighteen.

Cassandra knew about Edward, and told me I should lighten up and not care about anyone if they don't care about me.

"Chill out, girl," she said. "If he doesn't call then forget him. Look, you're way too pretty to worry about any guy. Come on, let's just go out and have some fun."

We were headed to the movie theatre to meet with her boyfriend and his cousin. Her mother didn't let her go out alone so she needed me so her mom wouldn't know she was with a guy.

"Fine. I'm only doing this for you, Cass. You know I don't like blind dates."

"You don't like any date, Bells. He's cute; I promise you'll like him. Do this for me. Please be nice." She pleaded with me while looking at me innocently.

"I'll be nice," I agreed reluctantly.

When we got to the theatre, I was suddenly nervous. I had never gone on a date. No guy had ever showed interest in me. I was worried I would embarrass myself or that the guys would think I was ugly. Cassandra was, after all, slimmer than me and really beautiful.

We decided to buy the tickets for Pearl Harbor before the guys got there. A few minutes later I was being introduced to Cassandra's boyfriend, Alex, and his cousin, Felix, and wow, were they _cute_.

I was nervous for the first few minutes, but relaxed once everyone started talking. Cassandra and Alex started making out during the movie, and Felix and I just made fun of them or threw popcorn. I had a good time. Later that night, we went out to Burger King to eat. Felix said I was beautiful and asked for my number. I gave it to him, and shortly after he became my first boyfriend.

Alex, Felix, Cassandra, and I hung out often during the summer. The boys were a few years older and were in high school so we knew we wouldn't be able to spend much time with them once classes started.

Alice and I texted each other a lot during the summer. We didn't get to talk as often because I was busy with my new friends during the day. Edward called less and less often. I never even had the chance to tell him about Felix. Our conversations were always just a few minutes and once I was getting ready to tell him, he had to hang up.

The more time I spent with Felix and my friends the more outgoing and confident I became. I was having fun meeting new people and I loved it. Cassandra was always the center of attention and for that, I was grateful, but I liked having many people to talk with and knowing that they wanted to talk with me, too. I never had to call anyone; someone was always calling me asking to go somewhere to chill. It was fun.

Once school began, things started to change. More new students came to school, I made more friends, became more popular, and boys were definitely paying more attention to me. Naturally, I didn't pay much attention to the boys because I only wanted my boyfriend. Felix, on the other hand, had other plans.

Felix and I went to the movies by ourselves one Saturday night. Cassandra was grounded for skipping school. I lied to Grandma and told her I was going to go out with some girl friends. I felt horrible lying to her, she was everything to me, but Felix was begging to see me and I didn't want to say 'no' to him. Grandma and Renee would have never let me go anywhere alone with Felix. They didn't agree with me spending time with him because of our age difference; I of course, never listened.

I walked to the corner of my street and he picked me up in his mother's car. He didn't have a license, he had just turned sixteen, but he 'borrowed' the car since his parents were out for the night and using their other vehicle.

When we got to the theatre, he purchased our tickets and we went to buy some popcorn. Once in the room, I was busy looking for some seats and I felt him touch my butt but didn't say anything. He was my boyfriend, after all, but I wasn't feeling comfortable with taking things to another level. We had only done some kissing, and I knew he wanted more, but I just wasn't ready.

Felix grabbed my hand, kissed my palm quickly and led me to some seats on the top right corner of the room. A few minutes into the movie he began kissing me. One thing lead to another and next thing I knew he had his hands cupping my breast. I tried pushing him away and he wouldn't budge. I stopped kissing him back and tried telling him to stop but he forced his tongue in my mouth. After a few moments of trying to push him away, he moved back to look me in the face.

"What's your problem, Bella?" he asked loudly.

"Shhh. Keep your voice down."

"Don't 'shhh' me, Bella. What's wrong? Why did you stop?"

"I'm just not ready yet." I looked down to my hands on my lap. I knew he was mad and that he was sweet enough to wait for me. But I didn't know how much longer he would be willing to wait and I didn't want to do anything I wasn't ready for.

"I've been waiting for weeks now. I've never had to wait this long. I knew I shouldn't have dated a younger girl."

"Don't be like that, please."

"Like what? Do you know how many girls in school throw themselves at me and I don't do anything? You agreed to come here with me alone, and that alone told me you wanted me and now you're saying you don't? You're playing games, Bella. I can't stay with you if you don't prove to me you want me. I love you, baby."

I sat there frozen, staring at the theatre screen but not paying attention to the movie. He loves me? I knew it wasn't possible, we were both young and had just met a few weeks before but I didn't know what to believe. _He wouldn't lie to me, would he?_ I looked to my side to look him in the eyes.

"Really? You love me?" I hoped that if he truly loved me he would wait a little longer.

"Yes. I have been waiting for you haven't I? Let's get this done with, baby." He touched my cheek gently and leaned in to kiss my lips slowly. After a few moments the kiss started to get rougher and his hand moved down my thigh. Right when I was going to panic, not knowing what to do, something Cassandra had told me before came to mind.

"_Sex is good, I won't lie about that, but sometimes I wish I could take it back. Start all over. ALL of my ex-boyfriends told me they loved me, and where are they now? They just said that so I'd have sex with them. It's all lies, Bells. That's why I mess around now. Why take guys seriously if they look at me like an easy lay? You're still a virgin, keep it that way until it feels right. Mom was telling me the other day that it's the best when you wait for the one you marry… You give him part of you that you can never get back and that no one will ever get. Your husband will be the first and only man to have sex with you. That shit right there? That's beautiful and I'll never get that chance. Don't mess it up. If you want sex, okay, but if you're not ready don't make the same mistake that I did."_

I remembered her tearing up while she spoke, and then I was brought out of my reverie by Felix's hand rubbing along the inseam of my jeans.

"No, wait... Stop," I said in between breaths as his lips attacked mine.

"What now?" he snapped. "I swear if you're going to start with that 'I'm not ready bull again…' I don't know. I can't take this anymore."

"I'm just not ready but please, I'll be ready one day," I insisted, trying to make him understand. "I just don't know when. You love me, right? If we stay together and we're meant to be, it'll happen." I smiled and tried to hold his hand but he moved it away.

"I don't believe in that 'meant to be' crap. All I know is that I want you and I want you now."

"Sorry, I won't."

And with that he didn't say another word. He just left me sitting in a dark theater, strangers looking back at me wondering where all the loud talking was coming from, and, to top it off, I had no ride home.

I ended up having to call Grandma Marie and apologizing for lying. She was gentle and sweet with me as always.

"Don't worry, mija," she began, her voice soft and sweet as always. I smiled at her, I loved when she called me 'mi hija' or 'mija' for short, it meant my daughter in Spanish. "I forgive you, but don't do it again. You could have gotten hurt. Boys nowadays aren't like they used to be. You need to figure out who your true friends are. I won't tell your mom because I know how she gets… but if you do it again I will have to call Charlie, understood?"

Her love and loyalty for me was unconditional. I cried in her arms that night and fell asleep as she moved her fingers in a soothing pattern on my head. She always knew how to make me feel better. Ever since that day, I never went out alone with a boy and I promised myself never to lie to her again.

I felt bad about what happened to Felix but I got over it quickly. Every time I began to blame myself, Cassandra was always there to cheer me up and tell me I was worth it. Everything in school was great and I always had someone to talk with. It was easy not to think about Felix. Cassandra had already broken up with Alex. She had a "date 'em and leave 'em" rule which meant she basically broke up with the guy after three months of dating, something about 'leaving them before they left you.' For once, I was thankful for her crazy way of thinking, no Alex meant it was less likely that I would run into Felix.

The rest of the year went by the same. I hung out with my friends in school, had good grades, spoke with dad every few days, texted my friends as often as possible with the latest gossip, and just had fun. Renee was a mess, she was in search for true love and never found anything but a one night stand. She thought I didn't understand what was going on, but at fourteen years old, I knew more than she gave me credit for. I knew that the different men who came to pick her up every night weren't just friends. I didn't think they went out to just eat and come back well after two in the morning.

By the time my eighth grade graduation came along, it had been months since I had talked to Edward. I still spoke with Esme once in a while and texted with Alice a few times a day.

Dad flew in to Phoenix to see me graduate and I couldn't have been happier. He took his one week of vacation to spend time with me. The week he was with me was the best week I had in a very long time. I basically turned off my cell phone so we wouldn't have any interruptions and I spent my day with grandma and dad. We went swimming, had picnics, went to the park, the theatre, and I actually had fun. Kids my age hate the idea of being seen in public with their parents but I didn't care about that. I was with my dad and with the best grandma, and that's all that mattered to me.

When dad was leaving to go back to Forks, he gave me a big hug and whispered in my ear, "Things are looking good at work, if I get my shifts to be permanently during the day you can come back to Forks if you want. Or you can wait until you're old enough, whatever you want." I nodded and he kissed my forehead.

Grandma Marie had a special place in my heart. She was like a mother to me and I didn't want to leave her, but I still wanted to go back to Forks to live one day. Spending time with my dad for a week made me realize that I missed him more than I ever thought possible. I wished I could be with both Grandma and dad at the same time but I knew it was impossible. Grandma would never leave Renee behind.

My first year of high school was hectic. It was a new school and I was starting all over again with being the new kid. At least all freshmen were in the same position. I met many new people, though I never became close to anyone. The more people I met, the more I noticed how many back stabbers there were.

Guys started noticing me even more in high school, but I wasn't looking for a relationship. Sometime in December, Carlos, a senior, asked me to be his date for the winter dance at school. He was adorable and I didn't have a date so I agreed. We had an amazing time at the dance and ended up hanging out often for the next few weeks.

I remember telling my friends all about Carlos and how much I liked him and thought he was different. He treated me much better than Felix or any other guy that ever tried to get my attention. It was nice, it was innocent and I loved that about him.

One of my newest friends, Kim, told me not to fall too deep because he's a senior and he'll be leaving the school soon. I nodded but didn't respond. I truly believed Carlos was different.

A few days after speaking with the girls, I was suppose to meet up with Carlos in the parking lot after school so he can bring me home. When I got to the parking lot, I found Kim rubbing up on him trying to kiss him. I was furious. She knew Carlos and I were talking and going to make our relationship official, but there she was, trying to kiss up on him.

Carlos noticed I saw and pushed her away. I knew he didn't want her, it was obvious with his body language. He was trying to get her to stop without hurting her, but I didn't feel in the mood to talk to anyone. I began walking home. When I was down the street from the school, I heard a car honk. I looked towards the street and saw Carlos rolling down his window.

"Bella, let me drive you home. I can explain what happened. Please. It's not what it looks like."

I knew he didn't like her, he told me many times he didn't know why I was her friend. He had always thought she had too much attitude and was conceited.

I thought about it for a minute. Even if Carlos would have kissed her back, he and I weren't officially together yet and my gram's house was a long walk…

"Okay. I'll let you take me home, but only because I don't want to get home all tired and sweaty." He laughed and I couldn't help but smile back. He always made me smile.

"Okay, seriously. I don't like her. You know I've told you so many times before that she's annoying—"

"Yeah, I know," I interrupted. I didn't need him to describe her, I should have known. " Don't worry about it. I'm just so mad; I don't know why she would do that. I thought we were friends."

"Welcome to the real world, cupcake," he laughed.

I couldn't help but laugh at that. "Really? Cupcake?"

"It just popped out, okay. Plus, you are sweet…" He winked and then parked the car outside of my gram's house.

"Thanks, Carlos. You're always so nice to me. You're a great friend," I said sincerely. When I was around him, I always seemed to have a smile on my face.

"Just a friend? I was hoping to be more…" I could hear in his voice that he was hopeful. I wanted to be more than just friends, too, but I needed more time to think.

"Maybe one day, buddy. I need to think. I mean... if that's okay with you?"

"Take your time, Cupcake. Ha, that's your new nickname from now on." He laughed and leaned in to give me a hug.

"Whatever you say," I laughed while getting out of the car. Once the door was closed I looked into the open window. " See you at school tomorrow, Carlos."

He smiled warmly. I knew by his tone of voice that he honestly liked me for who I was. "See you tomorrow."

This chapter takes place between Bella's last week in Forks (end of fourth grade) up until a month after ninth grade when she's going back to Forks. This story is mainly about Bella and Edward so I kept their time apart in one chapter because I didn't want to drag it out too much. Please let me know what you think about all of this… **Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated.**

I understand that smoking, drinking and sex might seem not likely to happen in real life in middle school, but it does happen. At least, here in Connecticut, I know it does. Sad, unfortunate, but so true.

Younger girls also date older men. In this story I had Alex and Felix be just a few years older than Cassandra and Bella but this gets worse in real life at times. When my friend at the time and I were both 13, she dated a 21 year old and I dated his 23 year old best friend. Sad, sick.. yeah. Did people agree? NO. I didn't look 13 so we never called too much attention to ourselves, but still… it happens.

What age did you experiment/start drinking or smoking? What's the biggest age difference between you and someone you dated?


	6. GoodbyesAgain

Chapter Five – Goodbye…Again

Sometime in June, I was in the kitchen helping Grams cook dinner. Renee walked in and asked to speak to me alone. Grams smiled showing me that I should go. We walked out to the living room and sat in the couch.

"What's up? What did you need to speak to me about?" I sat with my body facing Renee's and legs under me. She also got comfortable and faced me with her legs crossed.

"I don't where to start. There's just so much, Bella. I haven't been there for you like I should and with what I have to tell you, I feel like..." She trailed off and waited a few seconds before she continued. "Like, I don't know. I just don't want you to be even madder at me." When she spoke her voice sounded defeated. I had no idea what she had to tell me but I hated hearing her sound like that.

"I'm not mad. Not anymore, at least. I just miss Forks, and you took that away from me." I couldn't look her in the eyes. I made friends in Phoenix and had Grams whom I loved with everything in my heart, but I was still hurt about not being able to be with my dad.

"I know. I didn't expect you to understand back then. You were just ten years old and you might not understand now—" I cut her off. I was tired of her assuming I didn't understand what was going on. I knew about all the guys she "dated," I wasn't a little girl anymore.

"I understand more than you know, Renee. I'm fifteen; I'm not a child anymore." I looked her in her eyes to show that I meant what I said.

"Okay. You're right. You're a young lady now. Maybe we can talk about it and then I tell you my news?"

"Sure. We can talk about it then."

"Okay. Where to start?" She looked away with a look of concentration. Was it hard to explain why she left my dad?

"Why don't you start in the beginning, Renee?" I questioned, feeling myself become more frustrated as the seconds passed."

"Um. Right. As you know, I gave birth to you just one month after I turned seventeen. Your father and I were really young. We were high school sweethearts and everything was great between us. We had fun, laughed… it was perfect. He treated me like his princess, like I was all that mattered to him." She smiled at the memories.

"We were in love. We didn't care about anything but being together. After a year of being together, I got pregnant. Charlie asked me to marry him and I accepted. We were young but so happy. He wanted you to grow up with a family; he wanted you to have the best he could give. He worked hard every day and finished school. We lived with Charlie's mom, Isabella, for a few years until your father had enough for the house. He tried, he was always the best husband, but he just wasn't the one for me. I realized it too late, we were together when we were so young and we didn't have time to get to know each other as adults." She moved closer to me, placing a hand on my knee and smiling sadly.

"I don't regret having you, Bella," she said, her voice uncharacteristically loving and gentle. " You're the best thing that has ever happened to me. I know I haven't shown it with my actions," she sighed. "Forks wasn't for me, I needed something different. I wanted to stay for you, I know you loved it there, but I couldn't. I felt like I was losing myself by living a life of routine," she looked up at me, pleading with her eyes for me to understand. "I needed excitement; I couldn't stay with someone who didn't make me happy. I can't explain, my thoughts are all over the place right now."

She was unhappy, not in love anymore and as I already knew, this was her fault. Other than that I had no idea where she was going with the conversation.

"He gave you everything you needed and you just stopped loving him?" I asked, incredulous. How could she?

"I will always love your father but I'm not 'in' love with him. I know it's cliché, but that's the truth."

"Why didn't you send me to Forks for vacations? You knew how much I missed Dad!" I was mad, hurt and confused. She wasn't making any sense to me.

"Your dad's schedule was all over the place, he never knew what times he would work and you couldn't stay in his house alone if he had been called in at night."

"It's my house, too," I whispered. "Or at least it was."

"That's what I want to talk to you about, but I'm afraid I'm not explaining myself correctly."

"Just get to the point already, please."

"Here goes nothing. Please don't say anything until I finish. It's already hard enough for me to talk to you about this."

"Okay."

Renee got up from the couch and started pacing around the small space of the living room as she spoke.

"Bella, first of all, please know I love you, always. I know I've never been the best mother but I do love you. I was young when I got pregnant and although at first it was all nice and things seemed perfect, with time I felt trapped. Your father was always in school or working and I was home with a child. I was young, I wanted to go out on dates and have fun, but Charlie was always tired once he came home. He would kiss me on the cheek and go straight to you. He would play with you, feed you and put you in bed then he himself would go to bed. I understand he was busy making a living for us, but I didn't want to be pushed to the side"

"He did it all for us," I interrupted.

"I know, please let me finish." I nodded, silently promising to let her talk. "I decided to leave so I could be happy and I thought by me being happy I could also become a better mother. It sounds stupid but I was jealous of the relationship you had with Charlie. I would be home all day with you, but once your dad came home you went straight to him. Or when you came home from school you would want to spend time with him even if it meant watching those silly sports on TV. I felt like I was failing you as a mother somehow and I believed it was because of my attitude," she rubbed her hands over her face nervously before continuing.

"When we moved to Phoenix, I wanted to give us a new beginning. Unfortunately, I got too wrapped up in dating to try to find 'the right one' and I didn't pay enough attention to you and I am truly sorry." She was taping her fingers against her lips and I knew if she was allowed to smoke in Grams house, she would have had a cigarette in her mouth.

"Really I am, I don't expect you to forgive me but I had to tell you anyway. I was so desperate to feel loved that the only thing I focused on was men and dating. Finally, I decided to stop looking, that I might as well stay alone. And that's when I met this very nice man named Phil. He's wonderful, Bella. We've been dating for a few months now and… he's the one, Bella." She had stopped her pacing and was looking at me with a huge smile and hopeful eyes.

"Congratulations for you then. What does this have to do with me?"

So she found a boyfriend, I didn't understand what it had to do with me. I just wanted to get to bed and think about everything she had said. I always knew it was because of her that we left Forks, but I didn't know it was because she felt left out or unloved. I understood where she was coming from, about all the dating to try to fill the void of feeling alone, many girls at school dated constantly to feel loved, I just didn't understand why that meant she couldn't be there for me, her only daughter. I decided it didn't matter anymore, I forgave her. I didn't understand, but the past was the past.

Renee came back over to sit on the couch with me. "Phil travels a lot; his job doesn't allow him to stay in one place for too long. I've been thinking about this for some time and we have three options. We can both pack up and go with him, you can home school or just transfer from schools, or if you don't want me to go, I'll stay…."

"What's the third option then?"

"I've been talking with Charlie and he said he'll love to have you live with him again, if that's what you wish and—"

"Wait. What?" I interrupted. "You talked to dad? When? Why didn't he tell me himself? I just spoke with him last night!"

"Calm down, Hun. I called him a few days ago and told him not to tell you yet. I wanted to tell you myself. You don't have to go with him, it's just an option. You can travel with Phil and me or we'll just stay here and I'll see Phil whenever he has vacation or something. We'll figure it out."

"No. I'll go with dad." I had been waiting to go back to Forks since my first day in Phoenix. "What about Abuela? No. What am I going to do? I can't leave her!"

Right at that moment my grandmother walked in from the kitchen. She must've been listening, she probably knew about it before. "My sweet child, don't worry about me. I'm a grown woman, I'll be fine. I lived by myself before you two girls came with me." She smiled sweetly and offered me a hug.

I hugged her small gentle body, feeling her warmth. She was a small woman, no taller than five foot, slim figure, so tiny yet strong, another mom to me. I didn't know what I would do without her.

"Abuela, why don't you come to Forks with me? I'm sure dad wouldn't mind, he loves you. We had a great time when he came last year. Please, please, please Abuela," I pleaded. It would be perfect if I could be with her and dad.

"Darling, I don't want to leave this house. Your grandfather and I bought this house when we married; it's the only thing I have left after he died. I'll be fine, don't cry." She gently placed her thumbs against my cheeks and wiped away my tears. "You can visit me some holidays or in the summer and I'll visit you at times too, maybe. We'll keep in touch. I love you too much. You're like a daughter to me, you know that."

Abuela didn't look sad like I did, she was happy. She knew how much I missed my dad and my old friends from Forks. Once I stopped locking myself in my room and we began getting to know each other I confided in her with all of my feelings. She was always so easy to talk to.

"Promise me we'll see each other often?"

"Promise. Now, don't pout around and stop biting on your lip. How many times do I have to tell you? You don't want chapped lips, child." We laughed together.

"I know, Abuela. Thank you."

"For what?" She looked at me, obviously confused.

"For everything. I love you."

"I love you too, mi hija. Siempre."

That night when I was in bed, I texted all of my friends in Phoenix and told them my news. My mom was leaving with Phil the next week but I was staying for a few more months so I wouldn't have to begin school in Forks in the middle of the year.

I texted Alice to let her know I'd be coming home soon, but for her not to tell anyone. I told her I wanted to surprise Esme and Emmett. Although it was true that I wanted to surprise them, the real reason was that I hadn't heard from Edward in months and I didn't know how he would feel about me coming back to Forks or even if he would have cared.

The year passed quickly. I graduated my freshman year of high school with great grades, spent as much time as possible with Grams and even had my first party on the last week of July.

Cassandra threw me a going away party on a Saturday, two days before I had to leave for Forks. Although I was never the type to party, I actually had a lot of fun. Not many people came, just a few of our closest friends. I was able to speak to Carlos; he and I decided to stay good friends. Since I knew I would be moving, I didn't want to start a relationship only to have to end it. If I wouldn't have been going back to Forks, there's no doubt that I would have been with him. He was an amazing friend and I was sure he would have also been a great boyfriend, but it wasn't meant to be.

After the party, I exchanged cell phone numbers with the people I didn't have saved as my contacts and we all promised to stay in touch via text or phone calls. Once everyone left, Cassandra and I stayed to say our goodbyes. Our differences made us even closer friends, I loved her like a sister, and I knew I was going to miss her crazy self once I left.

"You know me," she began." I don't like getting all emotional so I'm going to try to make this quick."

"I love you too, Cassandra." I interrupted. She was such a loving friend but had always had a hard time expressing her feelings to the people she truly cared for.

"You know me so well, Bella," she laughed. "Really, I'm going to miss you so much. What will you do without me giving you advice? You'll be lost without me." She was joking; it was her way of telling me she didn't know what she would do. This would be new for us. We were always together.

"That's why we have these," I said as I tapped on my cell phone. "We'll text each other during the day and talk when we can. Plus, in three years when we turn eighteen we can take a trip to see each other. Plan to go to the same college or take a break before college and go on a road trip or something. Alice and I had planned to do one, it'll be great, us girls. I don't know."

"Yeah, I get what you're saying. We'll see."

We talked for a few more minutes before her mother gave me a ride home.

The next day I spent all day with Grams. She helped me pack, we cooked our last dinner together and cuddled in the couch to watch a movie. We both ended up falling asleep before it ended, her falling asleep first and me shortly after.

The next morning, I woke up early covered in blankets. Grams must have woken up sometime during the night and covered me so I wouldn't get cold. The air conditioner was always on and it got cold in the mornings.

I stayed on the couch for a few minutes and then picked up my phone that had fallen on the floor. Monday July 28, 2003, 6:02am flashed on the screen of my cell when I flipped it open.

_I'm going back home_.

**End Note:** Thanks for reading!

Have you ever had to leave any friends or family members behind?


	7. Home

_Thank you so much to **Project Team Beta**, **Hollywoodherewecome**, **Dee** and **TwilightGypsy**!_

Chapter Six – Home

The time I had planned to spend as a short nap turned out to be the longest three hours _ever_.

The flight from Phoenix to Seattle was a bit over three hours but it felt far longer. Unfortunately, I was stuck in the middle seat with a stinky older woman to my right and a sleazy looking bald man to my left.

_It'll be over before you know it_, I kept reminding myself as I tried to avoid physical contact with either of them.

I had woken up early that morning and hadn't been able to fall back to sleep. A delicious aroma was in the air and I followed it into the kitchen. Grams was baking me cookies so I could have something to snack on while on my way to Forks.

Once the cookies were out of the oven and cooling, we cooked and ate our last breakfast together in content silence. I wasn't sure how long it would be until I got to spend time with her like that again. Afterward, we finished gathering some of my belongings and got ready to head to the airport.

Renee was nowhere to be found that morning. Grams told me she was at some sort of appointment. I knew better. I knew she had to be with Phil. A few months earlier, it might have bothered me that she was choosing a man over me. Unfortunately, I was already used to Renee pulling a 'no show.' I'm not sure if my not being hurt by her absence was a good or bad thing, but I suppose I didn't care anymore.

The drive down to the airport was quiet, with the exception of the wind blowing against the windows and the cars passing by us. I looked out the window and saw memories flash before my eyes of my time in Phoenix, some good and some bad, but memories of what my life had been like. I didn't like goodbyes, but I knew Forks was home.

"I love you so much, Grams," I said, once she parked and got out of the car. "I really don't want to leave you."

"Sweet, sweet child," she said in her comforting voice. "We won't be able to see each other as often as we're used to, but I'll still be there for you. I'm only a call and an airplane trip away."

I smiled and hugged her as tight as I could without hurting her. "Call me if you ever need anything, Grams, and I'll come back."

Grandma Marie was the one I went to whenever I needed someone to talk to. She was there for me to show me how much I was loved. I loved her just as much as I loved my father.

"This isn't goodbye, Mi Hija. This is more of a 'see you later' than anything else." She kissed me on my forehead, just as she had done every night before I went to bed. She rubbed my back soothingly before moving away from my embrace. "Go on now before I change my mind and your father will have to get on a plane to drag you away from me."

We said one last 'see you later' and I was on my way to board the plane that would be taking me back to Forks.

That is how I found myself in the highly uncomfortable situation of sitting between two people I'd rather not have to be around.

_I will never take a middle seat again. One unbearable person I can deal with, but two is just too much_.

A woman's voice announcing our landing broke through my thoughts. I anxiously counted down the minutes left until I would be out of the plane and on my way home.

I made my way out of the airplane and to the baggage claim area, where I picked up my two bags. Since the rest of my things were shipped out before I left Phoenix, I didn't have much to carry, and for that I was thankful.

I had begun making my way through the crowded airport when I heard a familiar voice.

"Bella! Over here!" The voice was so familiar but it had been years since I had heard it in person. My heart swelled up with emotion at the sound.

I turned around to see one of the people I least expected. We ran towards each other, and I dropped my bags on the floor as we hugged tightly, neither one of us wanting to let go.

"I've missed you so much," I whispered. Tears were falling down my cheeks, I was so happy.

"Oh Bella, never leave again. Now that you're here, don't think I'll let you leave my side!"

I pulled back from the hug a bit to see my friend's face clearly. "Getting rid of me won't be so easy. I can't believe I'm here, Alice!"

"Me either! This is the best. We're going to have such a great time together. My parents and brothers are dying to see you." The mention of her family brought me joy. I loved and missed them as so much, but the thought of her brothers, well, one particular brother had me feeling a little uneasy. I hadn't spoken to Edward in— I didn't even know how long. I didn't need thoughts of his indifference to bring my mood down.

We both turned around at the sound of someone clearing their throat.

"Dad!" I was so wrapped up in seeing Alice that I didn't even think about finding my dad. I figured that maybe he was in the car or something. I hugged him tightly and he squeezed me back. I had missed him much more than I had even imagined.

"Hey, kiddo. Good to have you back in Washington." I easily recognized the emotion ringing through the simple words.

"Good to be back. I've missed it here." And I truly did. I was excited for what was to come, and I hadn't even stepped outside of the airport yet.

"Let's get you girls home. I know you have a lot to catch up on."

We made our way outside, my dad walking ahead of us with my bags while Alice and I walked behind, hand in hand like two sisters who had been reunited after a long separation.

The long drive from the airport to Forks was spent listening and singing along to the radio. Occasionally, we would lower the music and talk about what we wanted to do before the first day of school in September. We had one month of summer left and new memories waiting to be made.

We were down the street from the house when Alice spoke, "I'll let you chill at home today so you can get situated but tomorrow, you're mine."

"You're lucky I'm working tomorrow, sweetheart, because if not, Bella would be all mine," Charlie said with a wink in my direction.

Alice leaned in towards us from the backseat, with a huge smile on her face. "Of course, Charlie, good thing you won't be around because now I'm first in line."

I laughed at them trying to 'get me all to themselves.' It felt good knowing I was wanted and missed. Even though Alice and I became good friends while I was away, it felt as if I had never left.

When we got out of the car, Alice and I stood looking up at the house as my dad grabbed the bags from the trunk. Our house looked pretty much the same as I remembered from all those years ago. The only difference I noticed was that the old swing out on the front porch had been replaced with a new one.

The familiarity of my childhood home and knowing that I was going to be living here again was overwhelming. Many beautiful memories flooded my mind as I looked at my home. I remembered all the summer days I played out in the front yard with friends, the days Charlie grilled out back and although it happened rarely, they were still some of the best days I ever had. I remembered the nights I used to sit in the porch swing just looking up at the sky. Some days I would sit there and write in my journal while other days I would just sit and hang back with him. With Edward.

I wasn't sure what was going on with Edward. He had stopped calling me so I never called him. I was never one to bother anyone; if he didn't want to keep in touch with me anymore, I wasn't going to force him.

Although thinking about not being friends with him hurt me, I could never just get him out of my mind completely. He was a big part of my childhood. He was my best friend. We spent every day possible together when we were kids.

When Charlie retrieved my bags, the three of us made our way up the stair to the front door. As he unlocked the door he motioned me in, and in the dark I reached in and turned on the light. When I turned towards the living room a big surprise awaited me.

Esme and Carlisle were sitting on the loveseat and Emmett was on the recliner.

"Short stuff," Emmett greeted me, as he jumped up from the chair. He held me close in a tight hug, and it was a bit hard to breathe but I hugged him as tight as I could. I had missed his warm bear hugs. "I've missed you, kid."

"I've missed you too, Em, so much."

"Um, don't I get some love too?" Esme said as she walked towards us. Once Emmett let go of me she enveloped me in a hug of her own. Oh, Esme. She was always so good to me. It felt good to be that close to her again.

"Always, Esme. I've missed you." My voice broke with emotion at the end.

"Oh, baby. I love you so much. It took you long enough to get back here." She placed her hands on the side of my face and wiped away the tears that were falling down my cheek. She then smiled warmly at me before whispering, "good to have you home."

Home. I was _home_.

Carlisle came up and hugged me too. "Wow, you've gotten so big, munchkin. I'm getting old."

"You're not old. You're looking good."

"Still the same Bella, never wanting to hurt anyone's feelings," Carlisle chuckled and he stepped back from our hug.

Dad came in and stood next to me in the living room, and then, slapping his hands together, said, "I'm going to pop the lasagna in the oven, so everyone get comfortable."

"Dad, you cooked?" I asked, surprised. I didn't remember him _ever _cooking when I was younger.

He smiled sheepishly. "There comes a time in a man's life when he realizes he just can't survive off of take out and frozen foods forever."

"Well you can, but it's still not the same, right honey?" Esme added, glancing at Carlisle.

He nodded and everyone began making their way to sit down.

I grabbed my bags from the floor and was going to place them near the stairs when I heard someone clear their throat.

I looked up and _he_ was there, sitting on the stairs. He was even cuter than I had remembered. His hair was much longer than it was when we were younger; it was also a richer shade of brown, almost red. He definitely wasn't the little boy I used to be best friends with. He was very easy on the eyes.

We stayed there, looking at each other for a few moments before he spoke. "Hello, Bella. It's been forever."

_Yeah, forever since you stopped calling and forgot about me_, is what I wanted to say. Instead I said, "Yeah, it's been a long time."

"Too long." He stood up and made his way down the stairs. He smiled and awkwardly made to give me a hug. I returned his smile with one of my own and walked into his arms.

He held me close to his body, and I held on to him just as tight. He smelled amazing, like fresh soap, a hint of what smelled like spearmint gum, and _all boy_. I snuggled in to his hug and I heard him sigh contently into my hair.

I also noticed he was much taller. Getting taller was a given, because of course we would be completely different than we were at ten, it just caught me off guard have to look _up_ at him. When we were younger he was always around my height, but now at fifteen years old the top of my head reached around where his mouth was.

I didn't want to have the hug end but I knew it needed to; I didn't want it to get awkward and it would if I didn't pull away soon.

"You look great, Bells." He smiled and reached for my bags. "I'll help you with these."

"Oh Edward," Esme called out to him from the couch. "I thought you had fallen asleep upstairs. I knew you wanted me to wake you before Bella got here but I didn't want to bother you."

"It's fine mom. I'm here, she's here, that's all that matters," he responded, then winked at me.

He signaled for me to go up the stairs first. "Ladies first."

I nodded and made my way up the stairs, suddenly nervous and hoping that I wouldn't trip on a step and embarrass myself in front of him.

Once we made it upstairs he led me to my room and opened the door for me, then waited for me to enter. He placed my bags on my bed. _The same bed where we shared our first kiss._ I blushed at the memory and looked around my room hoping he wouldn't notice.

I was on the opposite side of my room looking out the window when he brought me out of my thoughts."What are you thinking about over there?" By the big grin on his face, I was pretty sure he knew.

"Nothing much, it just feels, I don't know, a bit weird, I guess. It's been a while since I've been here. It might take me some time to get used to being home."

"That's understandable," he murmured, as he walked towards me. "You have all of us though, so it'll be just like old times before you know it."

"Yeah, just like old times." I smiled brightly and tried not to show my hesitance. He hadn't made an effort to contact me and there he was acting as if nothing had changed. I wasn't sure what was going on, but I didn't want to ruin my first day home. I really did want to spend some time with him and hopefully get some information from him.

"But better," he promised. "I know I've been sort of missing in action for some time, but I promise you I have a good excuse."

"Are you sure you're not a mind reader? I was just thinking about that." I was glad he mentioned it first.

He laughed and hesitantly grabbed me by the hand gently. "Not a mind reader, but you looked thoughtful and I figured that's what was on your mind. I guess I was right."

"So, what's your excuse?"

"I'll tell you someday, not now. But one day you'll know. Trust me, it's no big deal. It wasn't you; it was me, my own issues."

"Breaking up with me already?" I asked playfully, surprising myself with my words.

It had been years since I had been so close to him and although I felt at ease with everyone else, almost like no time had passed, it was somewhat different with Edward. I was nervous. I even had some butterflies in my stomach. Must be the good looks; I definitely had to get used to having a hot friend.

"Never. Best friends forever, remember?" He wagged his brows comically and I couldn't help but laugh, him following with a sexy, husky one of his own.

_I truly have to stop thinking like that about him._

"Yeah, best friends forever. We'll see how long you can last."

"Oh, I can last alright."

I quirked an eyebrow at him in question and he just shrugged in response.

"Let's go downstairs, Bells. I don't want keep you away for too long."

We were about to start walking down the stairs when Edward stopped me by grabbing my arm. "Um, want to hang out tomorrow? Catch up on old times? You probably don't want to, but I'll appreciate it if you let me explain some things."

Alice was so excited about having me all to herself the next day but I was sure she would understand. After all, she knew how much Edward had meant to me.

"Sounds good, you treat."

"Tomorrow then."

"Yup."

We spent hours downstairs watching movies and eating my dad's lasagna and garlic bread. I was expecting his lasagna to be lacking flavor or maybe be under or overcooked, but it was perfect.

My first day in Forks was spent around the people I loved the most; I couldn't wait to see what else was to come.

As we all said our goodbyes that evening, I felt it was the perfect end to the perfect first day back home.

"Alright, Kid, I would love to stay up and talk, but I got the early shift tomorrow."

"It's fine, Dad, I completely understand. Let me finish up in the kitchen, and we'll talk tomorrow." He smiled gratefully, patted me playfully on the top of my head and slowly walked the stairs to his bedroom. Once the kitchen was clean, I followed, taking one last look around the comfortable, familiar rooms before heading up to my room. Once I was comfortable in bed I called Grams to tell her about my day and to wish her a good night.

I lay in bed listening to music and wondering what the next day would bring.

Tomorrow couldn't come fast enough.

**Please add me to your author's alerts, I'm working on a few more stories, or you can check them out on my profile.**

**Tell me what you think. I really hope I don't disappoint! If there's something I should work on, please let me know.**

I know I've been M.I.A for quite some time but I'm back for good now. Slowly but surely.


	8. Good Old Days

_Huge thanks to _**_Project Team Beta_**_, _**_BonnySammy_**_, _**_youMEANeverything14, Twilight Gypsy _****_and _****_hollywoodherewecome _**_ for beta'ing this for me. _

Chapter Seven – Good Old Days

_Beep_

_Beep_

_Beep_

The generic alarm on my cell phone rang beside me and I lazily hit the snooze button for the fourth time. I had originally planned to wake up at seven to unpack and settle in before starting my day, but my body was not cooperating. Sleep fogged my brain and my warm sheets were begging to be snuggled into – who was I to deny myself a good rest? I set my phone on my pillow, too lazy to place it back on the nightstand, and sunk into my pillows.

I was just beginning to drift off again when the sound of 'Stand in the Rain' by SuperChic(k) rang in my ear, effectively bringing me back to reality.

I recognized the ringtone immediately. _Alice._ I suddenly felt horrible for agreeing to hang out with Edward when I already had plans with her. I was debating whether I should cancel and go with Alice instead when the phone stopped ringing. A few seconds later my phone signaled that a new text message had arrived.

**Good morning, sweetie! When were you gonna tell me? Ugh. Call me. I'm excited. – A**

I couldn't help but smile as I read her message. She was always calling me 'beautiful' or 'sweetie.' She was so affectionate with me, even when I had made plans with someone else.

**Morning, Ali. Oops. Slipped my mind? I'll cancel with him and we can spend time together instead. – B**

As soon as I sent it, 'Stand in the Rain' filled the room again.

"Hey."

"Don't be crazy, Bella. My dumb brother has wanted to talk to you since forever. I'm glad he finally got the guts to do it."

"Really?"

"Yeah, but just listen to him. If he does anything to hurt you or annoy you, we'll get him back tonight. I've already asked my mom if you could sleep over."

"I was going to cook dinner for Charlie tonight." He was working during the day and I wanted to surprise him by treating him to a home cooked meal. I was planning to use one of Grams original recipes; she taught me everything I knew about food.

"You two are actually invited for dinner. My mom and Charlie were talking about it last night." She lowered her voice to barely a whisper and continued speaking, "maybe if you weren't ogling Edward, you would've heard."

I tried to ignore her comment and continued with our sleepover talk. "Whipped cream like old times?" When I was younger I used to sleep over at the Cullen's place all the time. Whenever Edward or Emmett fell asleep before us, Alice and I used to spray whipped cream all over their faces.

"Oh, no. We're moving on up tonight. Whipped cream is just for fun. If Edward messes up with you today, we'll bust out with the melted chocolate, maybe some honey, ooh and feathers—"

"This isn't a movie, Alice. Really? Feathers?"

"Let me have my fun, Bella. I'm sure he'll behave on the _date _though."

There was that word again. I tried to overlook the butterflies that were battling it out in my stomach at just the mere thought of Edward and me going on a date. I knew we were just two friends about to hang out and I didn't need anything getting my hopes up.

I didn't know how or why I began entertaining the idea of ever being more than friends, but for some reason it was there in the back of my mind, no matter how hard I tried to deny it.

Only time would tell if I could ever be anything more than just a simple friend to Edward. He had ignored me for over a year and now was suddenly talking to me again. I wondered if he would have decided to get in contact with me if I had stayed in Phoenix.

I wasn't even sure if he was being honest about wanting us to be best friends again or if he was just saying it because he felt like he had to. There were many things I needed to figure out.

I didn't notice that I must have taken longer than necessary to respond until Alice interrupted my inner ramblings.

"Bella? Are you still there?"

"Yeah, I was just thinking, you know this isn't a date, right?" I told her as I tried to convince myself at the same time. "Just two old friends catching up."

"Sure. Anyway, I just called to tell you to dress comfortably. No need to go all out."

"When do I ever go all out, Alice?"

"Well, some girls like wearing heels when they go on _dates_," she said, exaggerating the word for emphasis.

"It's not a date," I said through my teeth. I was beginning to get aggravated.

"Friends hanging out and a date are basically the same thing. But today it'll be casual. Edward was going to call to let you know how to dress, but I insisted on doing it myself since I was the one left hanging."

"I didn't leave you hanging. I was just caught up, I guess. I already told you I could cancel."

"Not denying it's a date now, huh?"

"Well, if this is a date, then every time you and I hang out must be one too, right?"

"This is different and you know it. I'm not some guy you used to hang out with all the time and I'm definitely not your first kiss." I could almost hear the smugness in her voice and I knew it was hopeless to disagree, regardless of how wrong she was.

"Whatever. Talk to you later." I had to end the conversation since it was going in a direction I didn't want to talk about.

"Bye, Bella," she sang loudly right before I ended the call.

I sighed and shook my head in amusement. Just talking with Alice for a few minutes brought a smile to my face. She has always been so fun and silly. A prank involving chocolate, honey and feathers was bound to be a blast. Images of pouring honey and melted chocolate on Edward came to mind. I wondered if we would also involve Emmett just for fun.

I had just gotten out of the shower when my phone beeped, signaling a new text message.

**Be ready by 12. – E**

I looked at the right hand corner of my phone and realized I had two hours to get ready.

**What are we doing today? – B**

**Nothing big. I didn't have time to plan. – E**

**So what is it? – B**

**Impatient are we? – E**

I rolled my eyes, even though I knew he couldn't see me and replied.

**Don't be late, buddy. – B**

After getting dressed and straightening my hair, I headed downstairs to the kitchen. I was looking through the refrigerator when I heard the doorbell.

"Come in. The door is open," I called out towards the living room, knowing it had to be Edward.

"What if it was some sort of serial killer at your door instead of me?" Edward asked from his spot near the entryway of my kitchen. His voice was a mixture of concern and something else I couldn't name. He stood awkwardly with one hand behind his back and the other in his front pocket.

"A serial killer in Forks," I said with mock nervousness before continuing in a more serious tone. "Really, Edward? This town doesn't get much action. I should know, my dad is the Chief of Police." I continued to look through the refrigerator, hoping to get an idea for a small meal.

"That's beside the point. You just never know." I looked up at him and saw there was no trace of humor in his face; he was being serious about the whole thing.

"Whatever, man, just get your behind over here and help me decide what to make for lunch."

"I don't even get a hug or anything?" He pouted and I felt little butterflies in my stomach at the thought of being in his arms again, even if just for a quick, friendly hug.

"Sure," I said quietly.

Stepping away from the refrigerator, I began making my way towards him. His smile was beautiful and I returned it with a shy one of my own. When I stopped in front of him, I looked up at him and raised an eyebrow, silently asking, "when are you going to hug me?" He nodded his head, and with the hand that had been in his pocket, gently tucked in a strand of hair that had fallen near my eyes.

He hugged me tightly to his chest and I wrapped both of my arms around him. After a few moments, I realized he still had one arm behind his back. "Um, what are you hiding back there?"

He chuckled and slowly pulled back from me, effectively ending the hug.

"Oh, nothing much," he said, as he began waving a familiar, small bag in my face.

"No you didn't!" I whispered, my voice full of an emotion I was scared of even considering. I felt my heart swell at his thoughtfulness. He had remembered such a minor detail of our childhood that I had forgotten until the moment my eyes landed on the bag.

"Maybe. Maybe not," he said dismissively.

I narrowed my eyes at him. I reached for the bag he was still waving in my face, but he had other plans.

"Not so fast," he said, as he lifted his hand up and out of my reach.

"Dude, you're such a loser. You can't show me something like that and not hand it over right away."

He smirked at me and I wanted nothing but to kiss him, even if he was annoying me like no other. I knew I had to rid myself of that idea._ Best friends. Yup. Nothing else._

"A loser, yeah, but I totally have something you want." Ooh, he had no idea how much more I wanted than just that bag. "I'll hand it over with one condition."

I groaned in frustration. "Just give it up, Cullen."

"Kiss me, Bella."

As soon as those three words came out of his mouth, I froze in place. All the annoyance and impatience that I felt over not getting my hands on the bag were forgotten. He wanted me to kiss him. My heart beat rapidly in my chest and my mouth went dry.

Edward cleared his throat, clearly amused, and began tapping his cheek with a finger from the hand that was unoccupied.

I could've smacked myself in the face right then, if I didn't know I would look like a complete idiot doing so. Of course, he wanted a kiss on the cheek.

_Friends_, I reminded myself.

Edward, being much taller than I am, leaned in and I tiptoed to be able to kiss his cheek. He took the moment to hug me to him and I gasped because of the unexpected movement. He leaned closer and his cheek was soft against my skin. His warm breath tickled my neck, while his strong arms held me against him tighter than before.

"You smell so good, Bells." Did he just sniff my hair?

"Thanks," I said awkwardly. "Now hand over the bag."

He chuckled as he moved back and held the bag in front of me. This time, he actually gave it to me and I couldn't help but smile brightly at him.

We walked over to the table and I emptied out the bag to check out the goodies he brought me.

"This is what I'm talking about!" I said excitedly and loudly, as I lifted my hand so he could give me a 'high-five.'

"I know it's not much but—" I quickly cut him off and hugged him. He was tense at first, probably since he wasn't expecting me to jump on him, but he quickly relaxed and hugged me back.

"I can't believe you remembered. This is awesome," I said, as I went back to the table.

"I always remember," he said. I smiled and nodded

There waiting for me was mouth-watering goodness: one of every kind of chocolate bar I liked, all for me. Almond Joy, Take-5, Hershey's Cookies 'n Cream, Twix, Snickers, Three Musketeers, and Edward's favorite, a Kit Kat bar, as well as some others. Whatever bar was available at the store must been on my table. I even found a bar of Cadbury Dairy Milk Fruit and Nut – the first piece of chocolate I had tasted, thanks to Esme.

What really stuck out to me were the jumbo bars of Hershey's Milk Chocolate with Almonds which were my favorite.

_He remembered_.

When I looked up at him, I was sure he saw the emotion in my eyes. It meant so much to me that he remembered. Sure, it was only a bunch of chocolate bars, no big deal to many, but to me it was huge.

When we were children, Esme would bring us to the only nearby corner store, Shorty's, and would buy us whatever we wanted. Edward always had something different, while I always chose the Hershey's with Almonds. As time passed, I found many chocolates I loved but I always kept coming back for my favorite.

The last day Edward and I spent together before I left for Phoenix, Esme had taken us to Shorty's one last time. It had always been our little secret. With Carlisle being a doctor and always worried about our health, he would've freaked if he knew about all the chocolate we ate, not to mention the help we got from his wife. _Good times._

I didn't want to sound crazy by showing how much it meant to me that Edward actually remembered, so I said the first thing that came to mind.

"You're trying to get me fat, aren't you?"

He laughed and shook his head with a smirk on his lips.

"I knew it," I accused jokingly. "You want me to get fat!"

"Well," he said, while he rubbed his chin as if he was deep in thought. "I would say you are looking quite good, but a few extra pounds won't hurt." He looked over my body appreciatively while mumbling something sounding like, "mmhm, just too sexy."

I pretended I didn't hear and began placing the chocolate back in the bag. Knowing Edward found me sexy was incredibly pleasing and I found myself curious to know what else he thought of me.

"How about we eat some lunch and just hang out, maybe watch some movies while eating all this delicious chocolate," I said, excitedly looking up at him.

"How about no."

"Come on, Edward. You can't bring me all this yumminess and then expect me not to eat it right away." I pouted and tried my own version of Alice's puppy face. It used to work back in the day.

"Yumminess? Is that even a word?"

"If it isn't, it should be."

"How about we take a walk first? We should talk before we pass out from a chocolate induced coma on your couch, don't you think?" He laughed nervously and helped me pick up the remaining bars.

_Oh yeah, the talk._ "Fine," I said, making my voice sound as if I was annoyed, but really, I didn't know what to expect.

I wanted to know his reason for not contacting me while I was away. All morning, as I got ready, my thoughts revolved around what he might tell me, but it slipped my mind once he walked in looking as good as he did. Then when he showed me my chocolate dream, all other thoughts were out the window.

"Good. We'll take a walk, then we can cook something together. I'm in the mood for some BBQ ribs and potato salad," he moaned quietly and I giggled at his eagerness to eat. "Oh, and cheesecake sounds so good. We definitely need cheesecake."

"We have all this chocolate and you're still thinking about cheesecake?"

"Chocolate is all yours; cheesecake is mine." He rubbed his stomach and licked his lips. We laughed at his silliness and I shook my head at him. "We'll stop at the grocery store to buy what we need and then come back here. We could eat while we watch a movie or something."

"Alice called me earlier. She said something about Charlie and me coming over for dinner. Are you sure you're in the mood for ribs and potato salad? We're going to be eating at your place in a few hours."

"This is_ lunch_, Bella," he said this like it was the most obvious thing. "I'm a growing man; I need my food. Now let's go for that walk so then you can feed me, woman."

Calling me 'woman' was obviously a joke, but something about it made my insides get all warm and tingly. I was seriously losing it, and I wasn't sure if that was a bad thing.

"You could feed yourself, Cullen."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever, Swan, let's get out of here," he said, as he began walking to the living room and towards the front door.

"Oh. Bells? Don't even think about sneaking a chocolate bar in your pocket."

How he knew I was in the process of placing an Almond Joy in my jean skirt pocket, I would never know.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said, feigning innocence.

I left the bag of goodies on top of the table, knowing my dad wasn't much of a candy person, and went to meet Edward by the front door. After making sure the front door was securely locked, and double-checked thanks to Edward's insistence, we were ready for our walk and our talk.

"Ready to go?" He asked and held out his hand for me to hold. "Like good old times?"

"Yeah. Like the good old times," I responded. Except we weren't ten years old anymore. We were fifteen, and I was sure that back in the "good old times" when we were younger, a simple touch from him didn't cause my stomach to get in knots.

Everything felt the same, yet different, with Edward. I was comfortable enough to be myself in front of him, yet nervous at the same time. I wasn't sure whether to freak out or enjoy it.

He sighed as we began making our way towards the local park, another place we used to hang out when we were children.

"I guess it's time for me to explain some things, huh?" Edward began, while nervously looking everywhere but at me.

"I guess so," I responded as I bit my lip, something I did when I was anxious. It was finally time to talk.

"I'm not sure where to begin."

"How about when you stopped calling and started avoiding me?" I knew I sounded angrier than I actually was, but I couldn't help it.

"Ouch. I deserve that. I acted like such a jerk."

I didn't know what to say so I just nodded in agreement.

"Okay, I need some time to get everything figured out in my mind. I'll tell you everything at the park for sure," he said as he looked down at our intertwined hands.

_Here goes nothing_.

**End Note:** What do you think of the story so far? Should I continue the story?


	9. The Talk

_Thanks to **Project Team Beta**, **HollywoodHereWeCome**, **Dee** and **BonnySammy** _

As my older readers have noticed – I am back! New chapters coming shortly! I don't have any betas though. Anyone interested or know of where I could find any?

Chapter Eight – The Talk

"This is so good," I moaned to Edward.

"Oh yes. So good. Much better than I expected," he responded, before smiling brightly at me and winking.

I continued slowly trailing my tongue up and down as I looked up at Edward. He gently squeezed my hand and smirked.

I continued licking at the delicious strawberry ice cream, trying to ignore the fact that Edward would stare at me whenever he thought I wasn't paying attention. We were walking around the park, the same one we used to visit when we were younger. We made small talk, still not getting into what I really wanted to know.

"So," I began once I had finished my ice cream.

"So," was his response before he sighed loudly. "I guess I should just get to it, right?"

"I guess so," I said and shrugged, trying to sound indifferent, although in reality I just wanted to tell him to spit it out already.

"I don't know where to begin. Things changed, Bella. At least they did for me and I needed a break." His eyes were pleading with me to understand, but his words left me confused. "This all sounded good in my head. Now I don't think I'm making much sense."

"You needed a break? For what?" I was puzzled. He wasn't speaking clearly.

"To be on my own, away from everything, from you…to think about us… I don't know," he said, clearly frustrated with himself.

His hands were tugging at his hair as he made his way to a nearby bench. When I didn't follow him right away he sighed and signaled me to follow him. We sat down before he continued speaking. "As time passed, we became closer. As we got older, we kept in touch on our own without our parents really being involved. We got to know each other as we grew and changed. I liked that."

I nodded, hoping to encourage him to go on. I liked that we had become better friends despite the distance. As we got older, our bond strengthened, or so I'd thought.

"I liked that a lot," he whispered, looking as if he was deep in thought.

"I did too. Which is why I don't get why things changed. Why did you suddenly stop calling and ignoring me?" I couldn't keep the hurt he had caused me from showing in my voice. I wanted to try to act as if I was emotionally detached from our situation, from this conversation, but I had always been a horrible liar. Of course, he knew that.

"Your father was hanging around my house a lot. He became even better friends with my parents when you went to Phoenix," he began. I already knew that because my dad had mentioned the Cullens quite a few times when we spoke on the phone. "My parents adore you, Bella, you know this. Charlie began bringing pictures of you that your grandmother would send over once in a while and when I saw you after so many years…" His voice drifted off.

"What do our parents being friends and you seeing pictures of me have to do with this?" I asked, frustrated. Seriously, he was all over the place with his explanation. Part of me wanted to freak out and wonder what pictures he saw of me and if they were any bad ones involved. Thoughts of horrible hair days, experimenting with make-up, bad outfit choices and pimples came to mind. After a few moments of thinking of the possibilities, his voice brought me back to the matter at hand.

"You have to understand, the last time I had seen you we were both just ten years old, two little kids who knew nothing about anything. I'm still clueless about many things. I am just fifteen, but five years makes a huge difference." He looked into my eyes and he seemed almost nervous.

"Edward, I don't understand what you're saying."

"At first I wasn't calling much because I was too shy to do it, I guess. Then your dad began bringing over pictures of you, and you just weren't the same Bella I knew."

"Of course I wasn't the same. People get older and change with time."

"Obviously," he snapped, trying to help me understand what he meant. "It's just…I can't. I can't do this; it's stupid." He stood up and tugged at his hair awkwardly.

I sat on the bench, more confused than ever. _Boys_, never could understand them.

After a few moments he sat back down, looked at me, and spoke quickly. "I started liking you more than a friend, okay? I couldn't have that. It would have ruined _everything_, so I just stopped calling."

His words were so rushed that it took me a minute or so to process everything he had just said. _He likes me?_ Butterflies danced in my stomach and my heart began to beat so fast, I wouldn't have been surprised if Edward noticed. Friends. I tried to convince myself that we would be friends. Alice had insisted that maybe we could be more, but I brushed off the idea of Edward and I ever being a couple. If the way my body was reacting to thoughts of Edward was any indication that my feelings for him were more than platonic, I was in trouble.

I bit my lip as I looked at him. I had no idea what I should say or do.

At my silence, he continued speaking. "I got older. Girls began to notice me more. I dated a bit and—" He stopped speaking and looked towards the ground. The thought of him dating other women pierced my heart with an unknown feeling. I wasn't sure what it was. Of course, it was obvious that he would date—I had—, but it still didn't stop me from getting a little jealous.

He cleared his throat before continuing, "Um... yeah, so over time I finally stopped thinking of you as more than a friend." _Friend. _That word hurt me more than I ever would have imagined. I quickly told myself I was so foolish to think he felt anything more than that. "I had planned on calling you, really I did. But as time passed, months turned into a year, and I knew I was probably too late."

The problem with that situation was that, I had begun thinking of him as more, too. I never had received any pictures of him, so seeing him the day before was a complete shock to me. But my feelings for him grew the more we spoke.

I should have known not to get my hopes up. I was thankful he told me he wasn't interested in me only a day after I was back in Forks. I didn't need to become attached to him, only to have him not return the feeling.

_It was all just a dumb childhood crush_, I repeated to myself. It was true; we hadn't kept in touch much. We spoke often up until the sixth grade when the calls began slowing down. The calls had gone from a many times a week to just a few times a month. I figured that must have been around the time he started "liking" me. Months later, we weren't speaking at all, and he hadn't tried contacting me until yesterday.

There we were in the park after over a year of not speaking and over five years of not being alone together. He was telling me he didn't like me like _that_ anymore. A few minutes earlier, I didn't even know that he ever liked me like that. It was all very confusing.

"Bella," he said, his voice soft. "Say something, please."

"What do you want me to say?" My voice sounded harsher than I wanted it to. I wasn't even angry, more hurt and confused than anything, but I wasn't going to show him that.

"Anything. Just say something."

"Let me get this straight. You brought me here to tell me you stopped calling because you saw a picture, thought I was pretty or whatever, so you stopped being my friend?" As I explained the situation, I couldn't help but be annoyed; I thought he was full of it. "Then when you date enough and decide you don't like me anymore, it's okay to be friends again? And, may I add that you didn't even have the guts to contact me until you had no other choice, since I moved back here!" I had been looking at my hands on my lap throughout my little rant. When I finished talking, I looked up to see Edward's reaction and what I saw _almost_ made me feel bad for him.

"It's not like that, Bella." He reached for my hand, but I moved it away and stood before he got a chance to touch me.

I began walking in the direction we came from not long before.

"Bella," he said calmly. I ignored him and kept walking away. "Bella!" His voice was more anxious. I tried to keep myself from paying attention to him and kept repeating to myself that I needed to get away from him fast. "Bella," he called, his voice concerned and getting closer. I hadn't noticed he was following me.

"What do you want?" I turned around and was surprised at how close we were to each other.

"Would you let me explain? It wasn't like that. I liked you before you even moved away to Phoenix. It was obviously little boy crush, and I didn't think much of it but as we got older, I found you attractive. I couldn't wait to talk to you, and then I saw your picture and you were the most beautiful girl I had ever seen." I was looking up at him through my eyelashes. He cupped my face and gently tilted my head back so he could look directly in my eyes.

"So beautiful," he said slowly and the butterflies in my stomach battered my insides once again. He leaned in closer and just when his soft, pouty lips were close to mine, he quickly turned and kissed my cheek. Humiliation and rejection covered me like a blanket. I couldn't move. It was as if I was rooted to the ground. I had nothing to say. I probably wouldn't had been able to speak even if I had tried.

Was it obvious to him that I wanted him to kiss me? Was the disappointment clear in my face? I didn't have the energy to cover it up if it was.

"I didn't want to ruin our friendship, and I knew you would never feel the same, so avoiding you was the only thing I thought of at the moment." His voice brought me out of my thoughts, and I searched my brain for what to say.

"Okay," was my smart, well thought out response.

"Okay?"

"Yup, okay," I said, my voice barely a whisper before I cleared my throat. "I don't agree with your actions but I understand…" _sort of,_ I finished off in my mind. "We've always been friends, no need to change that now, right?" I could hear the sadness in my own voice. I thought I saw his eyes reflect the hurt I was feeling, but that could have been my mind playing tricks on me.

"Friends?" He asked, as he nudged me on my shoulder.

"Friends."

"Always?" He asked, with a small smile and I couldn't help but laugh. He was bringing back what we used to tell to each other when we were younger.

"And forever," I said with a smile.

"Always and forever." He pulled me against him and placed his arm over my shoulder, and we began walking to nowhere in particular.

Friends always and forever. _Friends._ I should have been happy to get my best friend back and finally know why he was missing in action for so long, but my joy was accompanied by something else, a longing for more. I shook it off and told myself I would try to make this work. I had to. I had no other choice. Losing Edward was not an option.

_Tell me. Did you love it? Hate it? Just okay? Let me know with a **review**._

Thanks a bunch for everything. I have people who put my stories on alert which is more than I ever thought would happen. It truly means a lot to me!

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